Elgin Last Week
April 14, 2018
Unreliable sources close to Ontario provincial premier candidate Doug Ford indicate his election plans may include the reopening of the Ford plant near St. Thomas.
“Forget solar panels and green energy. Forget them other ‘proposals’. Forget that the plant’s been ‘dismantled’,” he allegedly said, waving four fingers in the air like Richard Nixon. “Boom, I’m elected, the Ford St. Thomas Assembly plant is back. We’re gonna make Talbotville great again.”
In unrelated news, Elgin Last Week learned this morning that Ford is mulling over plans to extend the height of the CN Tower to once again make it the tallest in the world, and to rename it the Ford Tower.
When asked about the implications of these latest election promises, the usual suspects in the Kathleen Wynne camp called at least one of them “Freudian nonsense”. But they admitted having “grudging respect” for a politician who will say anything to get elected.